July 30, 2011

This week in...

...sex
  • Is casual sex worth it? Yes, yes it is. Any other questions?
  • If you’re going on a date sometime soon, think about incorporating some of these libido boosters. Hint: wear red, hold her hand, and get her adrenaline pumping.

...alimony

July 27, 2011

From the comments, two perspectives on alimony

First from Niki W in response to The argument for alimony:
Ultimately whether or not a parent who has ended his career in order to look after a child has given up something probably depends entirely on the person. Parenting can often be a tiring, thankless job, and not all parents decide to bear the responsibility equally. Our society is still antiquated enough that more women will stay at home to look after their children than men, and there IS a reason why sole custody is usually granted to the mother when joint custody can't be agreed on. Maybe when society has evolved such that there are an equal number of women in high-powered, successful positions as there are men, alimony can be totally abandoned, but are you really considering that it can be extremely necessary as well?
This is a typical strategy used to argume for alimony: Complaining about a bunch of stuff that she doesn’t like, without making any attempt to connect it to a point. I guess I shouldn’t have expected much grasp of logical concepts from someone who calls herself Niki.

But let’s take these “points” one at a time.

July 26, 2011

Larry David on marriage

Again, it takes a comedian to speak the truth. This time from Larry David's Rolling Stone interview:
David says he's unlikely to ever get married again. "It would be a silly thing to do," he says. "Why would I do it? Why would I want that contract? I already have kids. The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it. You get married, you have kids – you should plan this from the beginning. We're going to have these kids, then we'll get divorced when they're four. All right, six."
Sounds like a good plan to me. Just make sure you have a solid prenup. And make sure it covers child support.

July 25, 2011

Date night

Date #2 with this one.

Date: Music festival/street fair
Cost: $48
Summary: She texted me a couple days after our first date and asked if I wanted to go to some food festival, but I said I was busy since it was a violation of both Rule #2a and Rule #4, and it wasn't clear whether she was expecting me to buy her a ticket. But alas, in the end, I ended up breaking both rules anyway.

July 23, 2011

This week in...

...child support


...women


...dating, mating, and baboons

July 22, 2011

You just can’t fight nature

Gender roles are based on nature, not societal pressure, customs, or whatever feminists would like to believe. They developed out of men and women’s innate differences. Men are better and some things, and women are better at others, on average. So the fact that your wife won’t respect you if you’re a stay at home dad is no surprise to me.

July 21, 2011

Date night

Continuing on my mission to share way too much information about my love life, here's what I got up to last night:

Ethnicity: Chinese (Cantonese, not Mandarin, in case you were wondering... I wasn't)
Met her: Online
Height: ~5’7” in heels
Body: More substantial than expected
Boobs: More substantial than expected
Butt: Didn't bother to check
Date: Drinks, wine bar
Cost: $29, 1.5 hrs, and a bit of a hangover
Summary:
I wish I had another pair of hands... so I could give this date 4 thumbs down!

Tiger Woods, Frank McCourt, Sugar Shane: 3 more victims of alimony

Tiger Woods may be running out of money, due primarily to the outrageous alimony he’s paying to his ex-wife. In the mean time she’s living it up on Tiger’s dime with her new boyfriend, who just happens to be filthy rich as well. Surprise, surprise! I wonder if the two lovebirds will tie the not. Of course not, that would mean she'd no longer be able to legally rip off Tiger.

July 20, 2011

Tips on picking up -- and getting rid of -- women

First, here's a link for some interesting tips on approaching women, written by a woman who’s made a career out of helping men pick up women. Nothing too earth-shattering here, so I'll let you click through to the original article if you're so inclined. My summary: basically, just relax and go for it.

The second set of tips, this time from a psychologist, are a bit more useful. I highly recommend taking a look at this one, if only for all the links to other useful articles on topics such as confidence, body language, and asking a woman out “indirectly.” I’ll paraphrase my favorite takeaways here:

July 19, 2011

How do you measure up?

From our friends at Freakonomics, here’s a handy chart of average penis size in various countries around the world (Warning: holding your wang up to your computer screen may cause an unsightly smudge). If you’ve read SuperFreakonomics, you remember the hilarious story about the condom program in India failing because the condoms, made for African men, kept slipping off.

July 18, 2011

The argument for alimony

Here’s a typical argument for alimony from – surprise, surprise – a divorce financial strategy consultant:
If a woman has been in a long-term marriage, and she has either been out of the work force for decades or has an income that is substantially less than her husband’s, I believe she needs – and deserves – alimony in order to maintain a post-divorce lifestyle that’s at least somewhat comparable to the lifestyle she enjoyed during the marriage.

That’s it. As far as I can tell, in the thousand-word article, that’s the only argument he gives. It’s pretty much follows the standard argument that I hear from alimony supporters. In fact, I’ve never heard any other argument, so let’s break it down...

July 17, 2011

Don’t get married

Although it’s written by a comedian, Dean Obeidallah, this piece has a lot of truth to it (Isn’t that what makes the best comedy). It echoes many of my problems with marriage. First, that it’s a vestigial institution without much relevancy today:
Just because you have the legal right to wed, this doesn't mean it's a good idea. Marriage is as outdated as a Sony Discman and MySpace... The concept of marriage was created thousands of years ago and has not been updated since.
Second, the fallacy of one reason people often sight for marriage -- security and commitment:

July 16, 2011

9 more reasons (links)

  1. If you don’t get married, you can still have a wonderful relationship with one of the world’s most beautiful people, raise a bunch of kids, and in general have a great life. Just ask Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Still not married.
  2. You'll also be much less likely to have a woman cut your penis off, either figuratively or literally.
  3. Nor will you be the victim of domestic violence at the hands of a raging psychopath like this woman who attacked the judge at her divorce hearing.
  4. Christie Brinkley can tell you that marriage is ridiculous. Add her to the list of successful women who agree with me.
  5. Those with experience think prostitution is just a form of dating. Actually, it's the other way around. Dating is a form of prostitution. And so is marriage!
  6. You may have heard about the new trend of celebrating a divorce, but the truth is, there’s no such thing as an amicable divorce.
  7. Why take yourself off the market when dating technology is advancing so rapidly? OkCupid is adding a location-based feature to its mobile app.
  8. If you’re woman is going to manipulate you into proposing, what makes you think she won’t be manipulating you for the rest of your life?
  9. We know child support isn't about the child, but this woman didn't get the memo. She's suing for child support 34 years later.

July 13, 2011

Date night

I'm going to try something new here: chronicling my online dating experiences. Basically, it's just for shits and giggles, and because I'm kind of curious how much trouble it'll get me into. I want to be completely open, but more importantly, amusing. So let me know in the comments what kind of vital stats you'd like to hear about, and I'll try to oblige. Here's my first attempt, based on last night:

Height: ~5’5’’ (~5’9” in heels)
Ethnicity: black
Body: thin
Met her: online
Boobs: enormous, likely fake (which is fine with me, just saying)
Ass: a little flat, but hard to say with what she was wearing (maybe that's just wishful thinking)
Date: drinks, pool
Cost: $59
Summary:

July 11, 2011

10 more reasons not to get married

  1. If you don't get married, you'll never have to stand next to your wife and look like this chump while she gushes over her uncontrollable spending habits.
  2. If you don't get married, your wife can never claim she has a right to your music catalog.
  3. If you get married, your spouse might attempt to electrocute you after you tell them you want a divorce.
  4. If you don't propose, no one can keep the engagement ring after refusing your proposal.
  5. If you don't get married, you don't have to worry about perfecting the art of arguing.
  6. The founder of eHarmony thinks you shouldn’t get married.
  7. If you get married in NJ, your wife can plant a GPS tracker in your car.
  8. If you don't get married, you won't have to come up with terms like "none-ogamy" to describe your sexless marriage.
  9. Nor will you have to train your marriage dragon, whatever that is.
  10. And finally, if you don't get married, you won't have to divide your apartment in half.

July 10, 2011

I hate it when I'm right

Add this to the case against alimony:
My parents divorced 20 years ago. The court approved a mutual agreement that Dad would pay monthly alimony until Mom remarried or one of them died. He has never missed a payment. I have recently discovered that Mom secretly married her live-in boyfriend 11 years ago, but has continued receiving the alimony without telling my father.
Sigh.

July 9, 2011

Weekend reading

  1. The New Yorker explores the history of online dating. Personally, I'm more interested in the future.
  2. In case you didn't know, coupons are tacky on a date. Women think it's romantic when you throw money away.
  3. Definitely read this very thorough discussion of the many problems with child support calculations. Then read my analysis again.
  4. The majority of Canadians now support legalized prostitution. Oh sure.
  5. Hopefully you'll never need any of the five legal documents that can protect you in a relationship.
  6. Most New Zealanders favor child support overhaul.
  7. Good for Malaysia Airlines, banning babies First Class.
  8. It turns out the success of female politicians might have a lot to do with nepotism.
  9. Here are some good tips on how to be a better liar.

July 8, 2011

The latest online dating statistics

  1. Zoosk on cell phone usage on a date. Hint: it's annoying.
  2. It’s Just Lunch says there's a trend towards gender role reversal. If only.
  3. Thanks to tastebuds.fm, we already know Coldplay fans don’t put out. Now we know Adele fans are the most likely to find a date.
  4. Match.com has survey results that tell you how to dress for a date.
  5. So far, Google+ is a sausage-fest.

More child support ridiculousness

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The connection between child support and supporting a child is tenuous at best. We know that it has nothing to do with the cost of raising a child. Even for rich people who spend lavishly on their children, it costs about $26K per year on average for the 18 years it takes to raise a child. But that doesn't stop courts from awarding child support payments that dwarf that amount. It's more about rewarding golddigging women and/or punishing men. Here are three of the latest prominent examples:

July 7, 2011

Rich women don't want to marry either

Charlize Theron isn't interested in marriage.
A long-term relationship...That's the kind of union that I want. The actual ceremony is not something that is important to me.
My guess is that it's because she's able to support herself financially. Is it just me, or is this sort of attitude common among celebrities and other women who are independently wealthy? If you are a breadwinner, male or female, our family law system makes marriage a losing proposition.

And let's not forget that richer people also want fewer children. Gee, I wonder why. Do you think it has anything to do with child support?

Men vs Women and the Great Recession

If you’re frustrated about the harsh impact of the latest US recession on men, read this article to make yourself feel better:
[Men] have been benefiting disproportionately from the modest job growth during the recovery... [W]hile the number of jobs held by men has grown by 768,000 since the recession officially ended in 2009, the number of jobs held by women today is actually lower than it was at the recession’s end: There are 218,000 fewer nonfarm payroll jobs employing women today than there were two years ago.
Or if you subscribe to the women-as-victims narrative try this discussion of the same study with the headline Recovery Is Bypassing Women. But if you want the whole story, you're going to have to read the original source report:

July 6, 2011

It's time to get rid of alimony

Most reasonable people agree than current alimony laws need an overhaul. Grassroots efforts to limit the duration of alimony are currently going on in several states. Elsewhere, there are efforts to standardize alimony awards to remove the element of a judge's opinion.

Even modern women believe it’s time to end this archaic system. A Boston Herald Op Ed by Jennifer Braceras is the latest to point out the fact that alimony is a vestige of a bygone era.

But why stop at limiting or simplifying alimony? Why not end it all together? The same logic that supports limiting alimony also leads to the natural conclusion that alimony itself makes no sense in 21st century America. In fact, it's counterproductive, for two primary reasons:

July 5, 2011

More dating technology

It's great when technology helps you get laid, isn't it? Now, a company is developing a system that will use facial recognition technology to determine the sex of people entering a bar. This data will then be aggregated to keep you apprised of which bars are hopping and the male-to-female ratio of each. Excellent!

Our American legal system

If you think our legal system is fair to men, I suggest you read this horror story from the LA Times about a man who was falsely accused by his ex-girlfriend of a brutal sexual assault. In an attempt to separate this loving father from their 5 year old son, the woman staged an elaborate farce to make it look like he violently beat and raped her.

On nothing more than a woman’s word, and external physical damage that she apparently inflicted upon herself and her home, the man was arrested, stripped naked, and held in a solitary jail cell for 83 days without bail. When the case was finally dropped, he emerged to a destroyed reputation and continued harassment by the woman in the form of a restraining order application.

All told, the woman succeeded in preventing him from seeing his son for 8 months. But despite the obvious fact this woman deliberately lied, she was never charged of a crime and was able to maintain partial custody of her son.

Here are some highlights:

July 4, 2011

10 online dating profile tips for women

I read this so-called expert advice on online dating profile writing for women, and thought it was time I posted my list of the most common mistakes I see in women's profiles. Call them Do's and Don'ts if you will (mostly Don'ts). That way I'm being helpful and not just making fun of you, right? Anyway, ladies, follow these guidelines and you'll maximize your online dating potential:

July 3, 2011

Online dating red flags

It turns out online dating can get you into a lot of trouble. CBS has a list of all the ways things can go horribly wrong. To paraphrase, you could:
  1. Get an STD
  2. Be scammed
  3. Be sexually assaulted
  4. Date your long lost sibling
  5. Get robbed
  6. Be murdered
  7. Be stalked
  8. Accidentally date someone who's married
Yeah, right. Most of these are pretty far fetched and/or not specific to online dating. But there is one big thing that can and will go wrong if you venture into the land of the internet dating profile: you could waste your time on someone who's not worth it. Fortunately, I've noticed a few common signs that a potential lover may not be the dreamgirl her profile makes her out to be. Without further ado, here are my online dating red flags:

July 1, 2011

A successful woman’s perspective on workplace inequality

Perhaps the women of the Wal-Mart class action suit should read this from a successful female techie/entrepreneur:
When I entered the industry, it was burgeoning. Though being a woman was a novelty, it was growing so fast the opportunity was there, just as the opportunity was there for women during World War II. Tech is a true meritocracy. Either you have the goods or you don’t. There’s less concern with gender, race, color and creed. I really truly believe that, despite data on the dearth of women in technology, tech doesn’t have a barrier up to women. In fact, if anything, women who are technically prepared have an advantage.
I couldn’t agree more. The statistics often sited to argue that women are discriminated against in the workplace are scientifically bogus. They are usually broad societal averages that don’t make any attempt to account for all the perfectly fair and legitimate factors that may affect the achievement of women as a demographic.