tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50952349525907236372024-03-05T20:36:24.746-08:00For PoorerMarriage, relationships, dating, and life. A single man's perspective.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger102125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-13355698244800570882014-06-16T15:49:00.000-07:002015-01-03T08:00:25.430-08:00How to tell if she's high maintenance<p>I don't enjoy dating women who are high maintenance. If you do, stop reading now. If you are like me, and you just don't think high maintenance women are worth it, read on. What is high maintenance? Well, in short it's someone who creates more problems than they solve. But I'm sure I didn't have to explain this to you. But how do you tell if a woman is high maintenance, particularly when you're dealing with an online dating situation? I'm glad you asked. Here's how you can tell, BEFORE you invest your time and money in meeting her:</p>
<ol>
<li><b>She says "I'm not high maintenance."</b> This is the biggest red flag you could possibly imagine. Run away. Run far, far away. Think about this for a second. Why would someone say she is not high maintenance? Because she feels that she needs to defend her high maintenance behavior! Either she has already done something to annoy you, other people in her paste have called her high maintenance, or she just knows deep down inside that she's tough to deal with. Like I said, run!</li>
<li><b>She makes things difficult.</b> Look, I've met a lot of women online. Heck, I wrote <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20" target="_blank">a book about it</a>. For 90% of them, the following is perfectly agreeable: We send each other a few emails, I ask her out, she says yes, I ask her to text me, she does, we arrange to go out for a drink. If a woman has a problem with any of this along the way -- for example, she doesn't accept a date invitation after a few emails, she wants to talk on the phone rather than text, she wants something more elaborate than drinks for the first date -- she's not worth it. Move on. She's telling you something, and it's only going to get worse.</li>
<li><b>She has a list of requirements/demands in her profile.</b> Did I mention making things more difficult than they need to be? I feel like I did.</li>
<li><b>She uses the word "gentleman."</b> When a woman uses the word "gentleman," it means she has some fantastical idea of what she thinks an ideal man should be. Be prepared for her to constantly expect that you conform to her ridiculous romantic dream. Sounds like fun, right?</li>
</ol>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-71557312569390158142014-06-09T06:27:00.000-07:002015-01-03T08:00:41.959-08:00Three more reasons why Tinder sucks<p>You already know that <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2014/05/why-tinder-sucks.html" target="_blank">Tinder sucks</a>. But if you're still not convinced, here are three more reasons to prove my point:</p>
<ol>
<li><b>It's only on your phone.</b> Don't get me wrong, mobile apps are great. Particularly ones like tinder than are very simple to use. But the best apps offer BOTH mobile and web based functionality. Tinder doesn't. I'ts only mobile. Which really, really sucks when it comes time to actually converse with someone. Ever try cutting and pasting a text message? Kind of a pain in the ass. Do you enjoy typing on your phone? If so, you will love Tinder.</li>
<li><b>There's no way to recover from an "accidental swipe."</b> You just saw the love of your life, but oh, too bad, you accidentally swiped left instead of right. I guess there's nothing we can do. Sorry about that. WTF? How can such a common and obvious problem not have a built in solution? As if that wasn't bad enough, the "I don't like this person" swipe is EXACTLY THE SAME as the "show me the next picture of this person" swipe. It only depends on whether you give a single click before swiping. Again, WTF? Was this app designed by morons? You don't have to answer that.</li>
<li><b>It's way too difficult to "hide" someone.</b> Let's say you've decided that you don't want to see a particular profile anymore. Maybe you've emailed them already and don't want to keep seeing it. You don't want to "block" them, but you don't want to keep seeing them either, not wanting to accidentally email them again or keep pining over them. There's no way to do this, other than creating multiple lists, which is just cumbersome and complicated.</li>
</ol>
So yeah, Tinder sucks. But you already knew that. Stop messing with Tinder and read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20" target="_blank">my book</a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-2211952588708554012014-06-02T07:09:00.000-07:002015-01-03T08:01:28.293-08:00Do women from OkCupid put out more, and does myBestFace work?Anonymous <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2014/05/why-you-should-date-black-women.html" target="_blank">writes</a>:
<blockquote>
<p>I love <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20" target="_blank">your book</a>: short and sweet. I came to the same conclusion on sending a generic first email, but was looking for someone who ran the experiment that I wanted to run. Now that I see you did it, I can rest easy.</p>
<p><b>Question:</b> It makes sense that the women on match.com who are paid members would be more likely to respond and follow through on meeting you, but my how much more or less likely are they to put out quickly compared to the ones from say okcupid?</p>
<p>My theory would be that they are less likely to put out quickly because they are paying and expecting more commitment. But you actually have experience. Are there any noticeable differences?</p>
</blockquote>
He continues by offering a couple links on another topic from my book:
<blockquote>
<p>Okcupid myBestFace features is pretty useless:</p>
<p><a href="http://jesse.la/okcupids-mybestface-would-be-awesome-if-it-worked/" target="_blank">http://jesse.la/okcupids-mybestface-would-be-awesome-if-it-worked/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/stop-using-okcupids-mybestface" target="_blank">https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/stop-using-okcupids-mybestface</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>First of all, Mr. Anonymous, thanks for reading. I'm glad you like the book. How about a positive review on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20" target="_blank">Amazon</a>? Anyway now that that shameless promotion is out of the way, let's take these questions one at a time.</p>
<a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2014/06/do-women-from-okcupid-put-out-more-and.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-54679564085189759282014-05-26T06:33:00.000-07:002015-01-03T07:59:53.419-08:00My WhatsYourPrice Adventure (Part 2)<p>So it's been a while since I've written about the online dating site for sugar daddies (ahem, generous men) and golddiggers (I mean, uh, women), <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/06/whats-your-price-prostitution-or-good.html">What's Your Price</a>. At the time I was intrigued by the prospects, but never got around to writing about the outcome of <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2012/07/my-whatsyourprice-adventure-part-1.html">my adventure</a>.</p>
<p>What happened? Well, honestly I figured out <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20">much more effective methods to meet women online</a>, and no longer had any need for a gimmicky website like What's Your Price. But since so I've received so many requests to follow up my first piece, here it is, by popular demand, Part 2 of My What's Your Price Adventure.</p>
<a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2014/05/my-whatsyourprice-adventure-part-2.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-81008465771196135552014-05-19T06:36:00.000-07:002015-01-03T08:01:53.277-08:00Why Most Online Dating Advice is Crap<p>There's a lot of online dating advice out there. The problem is, most of it is crap. Why? Well it's the same reason that most information on the internet is crap. People tend to get too caught up with what they want, rather than focusing on the truth. The result is that most advice is anecdotal or more of a personal desire than actual advice on how to act for success. Here's what I'm talking about:</p>
<p><a href="http://scholarsandrogues.com/2014/04/14/online-dating-tips-tell-ok-cupid-youre-looking-for-the-opposite-of-what-you-really-want/" target="_blank">This guy</a> complains that he get's too many matches and emails with women he doesn't like. From his sample size of... wait for it... <b><i>three</i></b> he infers that he should answer online dating profile questions oppositely of how he truly feels. The better advice would be to <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-online-dating-email-personalized-vs.html">stop waiting for women to contact you</a>!</p>
<a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2014/05/why-most-online-dating-advice-is-crap.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-65640952878821319992014-05-12T06:58:00.000-07:002015-01-03T08:02:26.651-08:00Why You Should Date Black Women<p>I've had a lot of success in online dating. Shit, I even wrote <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20">a book about it</a>. But recently I've had even more success. How? By dating black women. Now, before you get all worked up, this wasn't a conscious decision I made one day. It's just something I noticed. I sort of though something was going on, but I didn't really pay attention until one of my friends whispered to me that he'd noticed that black women seemed to love him. When I started to keep track, I realized that I was having a lot more success with black women than any other race. But why? It turns out there are two factors at play here:</p>
<a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2014/05/why-you-should-date-black-women.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-77988944715810675882014-05-05T07:04:00.000-07:002015-01-03T07:57:50.223-08:00Why Tinder Sucks<p>If you haven't heard of Tinder, you haven't been paying attention. It's the hottest thing in online dating. It's worth <a href="http://time.com/59893/tinder-5-billion-value-worth/" target="_blank">billions</a>. I'm not going to bore you with all the details of how it works. You can learn that <a href="http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/543941/tinder-the-online-dating-app-that-everyone-s-talking-about.html" target="_blank">anywhere</a>, but here are the main reasons Tinder is different, and why it's getting so much buzz:
<ol>
<li><b>It's not "really" online dating.</b> Tinder has an organic feel. It uses your facebook contacts to link you with friends of friends.</li>
<li><b>It's entirely smartphone based</b>, so is very comfortable and intuitive to people who are familiar with social apps. It doesn't feel like normal online dating.</li>
<li><b>It empowers women.</b> Because you can't communicate with anyone until there's a mutual match, women feel empowered to control who gets to write them.</li>
</ol>
<p>Yes all these things are true, but there's one fundamental flaw with Tinder that makes it almost entirely useless, completely inferior to virtually any other online dating site: It sucks. Here's how Tinder destroys online dating:</p>
</p><a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2014/05/why-tinder-sucks.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-35608221067337454452014-04-28T06:44:00.000-07:002015-01-03T08:03:12.778-08:00Online Dating Links<ol>
<li>Online dating tips from our old friends at <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/tips-for-using-online-dating-sites,35619/" target="_blank">The Onion</a>.</li>
<li>Looks like <a href="http://www.portlandmercury.com/IAnonymousBlog/archives/2014/03/26/online-dating-tips-for-the-ladies" target="_blank">this guy</a> has experience the "photo from above" deception in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GG8RNFU">my book's</a> list of profile photo red flags.</li>
<li>A great video on the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO1ifNaNABY" target="_blank">economics of sex</a>. Bottom line, it's good to be a man.</li>
<li>Guess what? Online dating <a href="http://freakonomics.com/2014/03/03/does-online-dating-save-you-money/" target="_blank">saves you money</a>.</li>
<li>Hey did I mention my book? Check it out <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20">here</a>.</li>
</ol>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-87615053339105067912013-11-24T18:40:00.000-08:002015-01-03T08:03:30.586-08:00What’s the average online dating email response rate?<p><a href="www.match.com" target="_blank">Match.com</a>, like many other sites, has something called “winks” that you can send to other users. It’s basically a quick way to let someone know that you’re interested in them. Now, when you receive a wink, a screen pops up asking if you’d like to email and stating that:
<blockquote>She’s 15X more likely to respond to an email.</blockquote>(At least that’s what happened for a male match.com member at the time of this writing.)</p>
<p>Think about what this implies. </p><a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2013/11/whats-average-online-dating-email.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-46841805895239369632013-11-17T14:51:00.000-08:002015-01-03T08:04:08.396-08:00The Online Dating Email: Personalized vs Generic <p><i>The following is an excerpt from my new book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20" target="_blank">A Hacker's Guide to Online Dating: How to Train Your Computer to Get You Dates</a>. In it I discuss all my tips and tricks learned over years of online dating, how to optimize your online dating strategy, and how to automate the whole process.</i></p>
<p>So you want to know if your online dating emails need to be personalized? You want to know whether you need to read her profile to craft an eloquent essay about all the things you have in common, or if you can get away with sending a generic, cut-and-paste email to everyone. It’s an important question. Crafting that perfect personalized email takes a lot of time. And if you consider the fact that even with a perfect email, the likelihood of a response is fairly low, you’re going to have to send somewhere between 5 and 20 emails to get one response. All that time writing emails adds up fast.</p>
<p>If you do some research online, you’ll probably see a lot of articles written by women whining about how generic emails are such a turn off, how unromantic they are, and how no one wants to respond to them, yada, yada, yada. Some articles are less emotional, but also conclude that generic emails are less likely to get a response, usually using a mixture of opinion an anecdote. But those people are missing the point. They’re answering the wrong question. The question isn't, <i>Do people prefer personalized emails to generic ones? </i>The question isn't even, <i>Are people more likely to respond to personalized emails than generic ones?</i> No, the relevant question is much more specific: <i>Is the increase in response likelihood gained by a personalized email over a generic email worth the time it takes to write it?</i> The answer to that question is an unequivocal no. Here’s how I know.</p><a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-online-dating-email-personalized-vs.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-57936019899322862892013-11-06T18:23:00.001-08:002015-01-03T08:04:52.032-08:00Announcing My New Book!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3lxVc9_ZwHfss5BKygaC1gbcpmS5fMyRs5UO-ysrx0t5cSMErt7VG98NFBN-rcM5tVk8QY8rZ8XhGaJqzwK66FH6yh3dlXj5unuHDcjgmdvCfEc-1b__GkqlkdpDOooLPiiDA_qP4O6Km/s1600/Hacker's+Guide+Cover_Small.jpg" /></a></div>
<p>Dear loyal readers,</p>
<p>I’m ridiculously excited and disgustingly proud to announce the release of my new book <b><i>A Hacker's Guide to Online Dating, How to Train Your Computer to Get You Dates</i></b>. Available on Amazon <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=snarkyslamsh-20" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p>If you enjoy the blog, you’ll love this book. It’s everything I've learned throughout my years in the online dating world. All the tips and tricks on how to optimize the dating process to do what online dating is supposed to do – get you actual face to face dates – as efficiently as possible. Basically, overcoming the <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/06/so-many-women-so-little-time.html" target="_blank">paradox of choice</a>. I've even included the automation code that I personally developed and use to have my computer do most of the work for me. Online dating on steroids! </p>
<p>I’ll be posting excerpts periodically – there’s so much good material here that I’m not going to limit it to just the book - but to wet your whistle, the table of contents is below. I also want to do something for my loyal readers. <b>For the next 5 days, the kindle ebook is going to be available absolutely free!</b> No strings attached. The whole thing. Free. What are you waiting for? Here’s that link <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GG8RNFU?tag=forpoo04-20" target="_blank">again</a>. The only thing I ask in return is this: if you like it, give me a review on Amazon. It always helps. And let me know how my strategies work out for you. You can always reach me here in the comments section.</p>
<p>Vaya con dios,</br>
Dorian</p>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG-BpY9DwWLa4dOeGdQZbwl4J5vwMBnAQmHKGG4Mn1rmoGg3FPrZB_UCv6LVQyPa_3kbFTZ4S_hfmb5za2I_pVZ3vGojt-R_DPwzERYBPkZ-_iYsNFQm2H5VVjuqdI_r3XXNqRbHf-r4HY/s1600/TOC.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG-BpY9DwWLa4dOeGdQZbwl4J5vwMBnAQmHKGG4Mn1rmoGg3FPrZB_UCv6LVQyPa_3kbFTZ4S_hfmb5za2I_pVZ3vGojt-R_DPwzERYBPkZ-_iYsNFQm2H5VVjuqdI_r3XXNqRbHf-r4HY/s400/TOC.png" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-15954122342291723612012-08-06T18:40:00.000-07:002012-08-06T18:40:00.143-07:00Date night<b>Age: </b>24<br />
<b>Ethnicity:</b> Hispanic, white mix<br />
<b>Met her:</b> online<br />
<b>Height:</b> 5’ 0”<br />
<b>Body:</b> Somewhat disappointing. A little more than pictures indicated in the stomach, arms, and thigh regions.<br />
<b>Boobs:</b> Again, didn’t live up to expectations.<br />
<b>Butt:</b> Looked ok, but also looked like it took quite a bit of effort to get into those jeans.<br />
<b>Date:</b> Drinks, and -- surprise, surprise -- some unplanned food.<br />
<b>Cost:</b> $31 + $25 paid by her<br />
<br />
<b>Summary:</b> <!—more--><br />
The date is best summed up by the following quotes:<br />
</p> “Growing up, I was kind of a chubby girl.” (Uh oh)<br />
</p> “I’ve never really taken care of myself, you know, aesthetically.” (Oh god)<br />
</p> “Let’s do it again.” (I'll think about it)<br />
<br />
<b>Argument for seeing her again:</b> She was cool, easy going. Her body wasn’t THAT bad. She was sitting down next to me at the bar the whole time, which tends to have an unflattering effect on the stomach (Ok, I'm rationalizing). Fat girls, or in this case, formerly fat girls tend to be, let’s just say, more adventurous in bed.<br />
<b>Argument against:</b> <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/06/adventures-in-online-dating-lessons.html" target="_blank">Rule No. 4</a>.<br />
<br />
<b>Red flags I missed:</b> Upon further review, <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/online-dating-red-flags.html" target="_blank">Nos. 2 - 4</a> may have been present to some extent. Again I was burned by the “average” body type. Probably should just steer clear of it all together.<br />
<b>Lessons: </b>I’m starting to think the fact that I’m getting regular poon elsewhere is killing my motivation. I’m just not feeling the urgency. I’m not desperate enough. A few months ago I probably would have jumped all over a girl like this. But now? Not worth my time.<br />
</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-86050175252079449472012-07-24T06:52:00.000-07:002015-01-03T08:05:23.766-08:00My WhatsYourPrice adventure (Part 1)You may recall <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/06/whats-your-price-prostitution-or-good.html">my analysis of WhatsYourPrice</a>, the online dating site where men agree to pay for a date with a woman. Sounds a lot like prostitution, doesn’t it? Well, we’re about to find out.<br>
<br>
Based on the amount of money I’d spent in recent months on dates with women I’d met online who turned out to be duds, I came to the conclusion that paying for quality might not be that bad an idea... as long as it increased the probability that I'd get laid. So I set out on a mission to find out what this site is all about. Here’s what happened: <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2012/07/my-whatsyourprice-adventure-part-1.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-105354023477427002012-07-05T08:13:00.000-07:002012-07-05T08:13:00.937-07:00Two perspectives on marriageI was on a business trip last week, travelling with two colleagues, a man and a woman, both married, both in their early 50’s. I had a couple marriage related conversations I’d like to tell you about to illustrate four points:<br>
<ol><li>The significant financial and emotional risk of being married.</li>
<li>The common dogmatic assumption that everyone should want to be married, just because that’s the way it is.</li>
<li>The fallacy that not wanting to be married means you are <i>afraid</i> of commitment.</li>
<li>The fallacy that being married is required to have kids.</li>
</ol>My first conversation was with the man, and illustrates point #1: <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2012/07/two-perspectives-on-marriage.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-25814351605629926652011-08-04T06:10:00.000-07:002011-08-04T06:10:00.652-07:00Infidelity is a one way streetThe good news is that we’re finally <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-pease-gadoua/is-noneagomy-grounds-for-_b_888423.html">talking</a> rationally about infidelity. <br>
<blockquote>More and more couples are choosing open marriages-- that is, marriages in which they spouses agree that being sexual with someone outside the marriage is okay.</blockquote><br>
The bad news is that no one seems to want to talk about the obvious: male infidelity is different than female infidelity. I hate to let the cat out of the bag, but men and women are different. Not only are their sexual appetites different, but when they do want sex, they want it for different reasons.<br>
<br>
I’ve written previously about the <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/08/sex-drive-and-marriage.html">fundamental mismatch in sexual appetites between men and women</a>. The natural corollary is that no one should be surprised by male infidelity. Frankly, I don’t think anyone really is surprised when it happens. So why does our society continue to be shocked and appalled when men are unfaithful (if that's what you want to call it)?<br>
<a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/08/infidelity-is-one-way-street.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-86536404491896175172011-08-02T07:36:00.000-07:002011-08-02T07:36:00.969-07:00Ask Men dating survey resultsAs I <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/this-week-in_30.html">mentioned earlier</a>, Ask Men has partnered with Cosmo to put together a great survey on the dating habits and tastes of <a href="http://www.askmen.com/specials/great_male_survey/">men</a> and <a href="http://www.askmen.com/specials/great_female_survey">women</a>. Check them out if you have the chance. For now, I'll summarize the best results relating to the topics of this blog:<br>
<br>
<b>On marriage:</b><br>
<ul><li>To the question of whether or not they believe in marriage, <b>85% of women</b> say “Yes, definitely!”, while only <b>66% of men</b> say they plan to participate. Hmm, I wonder if that is a reflection of who is favored by the rules of engagement.</li>
<li>How important is a prenup? <b>32% of men</b> say somewhat or very important, versus only <b>26% of women</b>. Do you see a trend here?</li>
<li>When asked which sex gets screwed in divorce courts, <b>79% of men and 41% of women</b> say men get screwed. <b>1% of men and 18% of women</b> think women get screwed. So both sexes agree. Men get screwed. Can we update these laws now? Waddya say we make things a little more fair?</li>
</ul><br>
<b>On infidelity, sex, and attraction:</b><a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/08/ask-men-dating-survey-results.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-11103027198408716572011-08-01T06:23:00.000-07:002015-01-03T08:05:46.113-08:00Sex drive and marriageOne problem with marriage, or any lifetime monogamous relationship for that matter, is that men’s and women’s sex drives just don’t match up long term.<br>
<br>
The male sexual appetite is stronger, stays high for longer, and is focused primarily on a physical attractiveness, which tends to decay with time in women (in both sexes to be fair, but less dramatically in men).<br>
<br>
On the other hand, the female sex drive is weaker, peaks during “child bearing” years, falling off dramatically over the age of forty, and tends to be more about non-physical qualities, many of which, such as power and success, increase in men as they age.<br>
<br>
To illustrate this imbalance, I complied some <a href="http://www.natural-hormones.net/estrogen-normal-levels.htm">data</a> from several <a href="http://www.mens-hormonal-health.com/normal-testosterone-levels-in-men.html">different</a> <a href="http://www.hgh-pro.com/hormones.html">sources</a> to develop the following chart. It plots the male and female sex hormones with age, relative to their respective peak production:<br>
<a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/08/sex-drive-and-marriage.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-63367028362512153852011-07-30T07:29:00.000-07:002011-07-30T07:29:39.565-07:00This week in...<b>...sex</b><br>
<ul><li><a href="http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/07/28/is-casual-sex-worth-it/">Is casual sex worth it</a>? Yes, yes it is. Any other questions?</li>
<li>If you’re going on a date sometime soon, think about incorporating some of <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/07/27/surprising.libido.boosters/index.html">these libido boosters</a>. Hint: wear red, hold her hand, and get her adrenaline pumping.</li>
</ul><br>
<b>...alimony</b><br>
<ul><li>It’s gonna happen! The end, er, restriction of <a href="http://www.newsjunkyjournal.com/end-of-lifetime-alimony-pending-in-massachusetts/2513459/">lifetime alimony</a> <a href="http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/wamc/news.newsmain/article/0/0/1831938/WAMC.New.England.News/Alimony.Reform.Advances.In.Massachusetts">in MA</a>. <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2011/07/28/should-states-impose-firmer-limits-on-alimony-payments/">Catch the fever</a>!</li>
<li>Just when it looked like Arnie was going to stand up against alimony, he <a href="http://celebritynewsandstyle.com/arnold-schwarzenegger-changes-his-mind-over-spousal-support-112/">pussed</a> <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31749_162-20083595-10391698.html">out</a>.</li>
</ul><a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/this-week-in_30.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-30411644522795797372011-07-27T07:05:00.000-07:002011-07-27T07:05:00.823-07:00From the comments, two perspectives on alimonyFirst from <b>Niki W</b> in response to <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/argument-for-alimony.html">The argument for alimony</a>:<br>
<blockquote>Ultimately whether or not a parent who has ended his career in order to look after a child has given up something probably depends entirely on the person. Parenting can often be a tiring, thankless job, and not all parents decide to bear the responsibility equally. Our society is still antiquated enough that more women will stay at home to look after their children than men, and there IS a reason why sole custody is usually granted to the mother when joint custody can't be agreed on. Maybe when society has evolved such that there are an equal number of women in high-powered, successful positions as there are men, alimony can be totally abandoned, but are you really considering that it can be extremely necessary as well?</blockquote>This is a typical strategy used to argume for alimony: Complaining about a bunch of stuff that she doesn’t like, without making any attempt to connect it to a point. I guess I shouldn’t have expected much grasp of logical concepts from someone who calls herself Niki.<br>
<br>
But let’s take these “points” one at a time. <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/from-comments-two-perspectives-on.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-11287521921324960452011-07-26T06:44:00.000-07:002011-07-26T06:44:01.043-07:00Larry David on marriageAgain, it takes a <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/dont-get-married.html">comedian</a> to speak the truth. This time from Larry David's <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/larry-david-talks-dating-post-divorce-seinfeld-and-wealth-20110720">Rolling Stone interview</a>:<br />
<blockquote>David says he's unlikely to ever get married again. "It would be a silly thing to do," he says. "Why would I do it? Why would I want that contract? I already have kids. The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it. You get married, you have kids – you should plan this from the beginning. We're going to have these kids, then we'll get divorced when they're four. All right, six."</blockquote>Sounds like a good plan to me. Just make sure you have a solid <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/06/prenups.html">prenup</a>. And make sure it covers <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/06/cost-of-raising-child-vs-child-support.html">child support</a>.<br />
</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-44552740549612501952011-07-25T07:12:00.000-07:002011-07-25T07:12:01.037-07:00Date nightDate #2 with <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/date-night.html">this one</a>.<br>
<br>
<b>Date:</b> Music festival/street fair<br>
<b>Cost: </b>$48<br>
<b>Summary:</b> She texted me a couple days after our first date and asked if I wanted to go to some food festival, but I said I was busy since it was a violation of both <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/06/adventures-in-online-dating-lessons.html">Rule #2a and Rule #4</a>, and it wasn't clear whether she was expecting me to buy her a ticket. But alas, in the end, I ended up breaking both rules anyway. <br>
<a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/date-night_25.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-13414439717066472362011-07-23T09:05:00.000-07:002011-07-23T09:05:47.338-07:00This week in...<h3>...child support</h3><ul><li>Who knew failing to pay child support could get you <a href="http://freekeene.com/2011/07/16/owed-child-support-get-shot/">shot in the back by a police officer</a> as you try to run away.</li>
<li>I said it <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/06/see-this-film.html">before</a>, and I’ll say it again. <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/family-court-divorce-emotional-child-support-film-makes-123007256.html">See this film</a> if you have the opportunity.</li>
<li>A man pays child support for 16 years for a <a href="http://www.madisonrecord.com/news/237034-man-seeks-child-support-reimbursement-for-child-that-is-not-his">child that isn’t his</a>.<br>
</li>
</ul><br>
<h3>...women</h3><ul><li>For some reason, women just <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-woman-always-has-backup-problem-just-in-case,20908/">like to worry</a>... and complain.</li>
<li>We watch female sports <a href="http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,2081209,00.html">if and when the athletes are hot</a>, not for any other reason.</li>
</ul><br>
<h3>...dating, mating, and baboons</h3><ul><li>It turns out, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/15/science/15baboon.html">it’s pretty good to be No. 2</a>.</li>
</ul><a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/this-week-in.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-81577148304609082232011-07-22T07:10:00.000-07:002011-07-22T07:10:00.302-07:00You just can’t fight natureGender roles are based on nature, not societal pressure, customs, or whatever feminists would like to believe. They developed out of men and women’s innate differences. Men are better and some things, and women are better at others, on average. So the fact that <a href="http://healthland.time.com/2011/07/11/why-its-not-okay-for-dads-to-stay-home-with-the-kids/">your wife won’t respect you if you’re a stay at home dad</a> is no surprise to me. <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/you-just-cant-fight-nature.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-45517788451427486392011-07-21T12:39:00.000-07:002011-07-21T12:39:00.466-07:00Date nightContinuing on <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/date-night.html">my mission</a> to share way too much information about my love life, here's what I got up to last night:<br>
<br>
<b>Ethnicity:</b> Chinese (Cantonese, not Mandarin, in case you were wondering... I wasn't)<br>
<b>Met her:</b> Online<br>
<b>Height:</b> ~5’7” in heels<br>
<b>Body:</b> More substantial than expected<br>
<b>Boobs:</b> More substantial than expected<br>
<b>Butt:</b> Didn't bother to check<br>
<b>Date:</b> Drinks, wine bar<br>
<b>Cost:</b> $29, 1.5 hrs, and a bit of a hangover<br>
<b>Summary:</b><br>
I wish I had another pair of hands... so I could give this date 4 thumbs down! <a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/date-night_21.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5095234952590723637.post-89104476500560613842011-07-21T06:52:00.000-07:002011-07-21T06:52:00.761-07:00Tiger Woods, Frank McCourt, Sugar Shane: 3 more victims of alimony<b>Tiger Woods</b> may be <a href="http://features.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2011/07/15/is-tiger-woods-running-out-of-money/">running out of money</a>, due primarily to the outrageous alimony he’s paying to his ex-wife. In the mean time she’s <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2011/07/elin-nordegren-dating-jamie-dingman-billionaire-heir-tiger-woods.html">living it up</a> on Tiger’s dime with her new boyfriend, who just happens to be filthy rich as well. Surprise, surprise! I wonder if the two lovebirds will tie the not. <i>Of course not</i>, that would mean she'd no longer be able to legally rip off Tiger. <br>
<a href="http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2011/07/tiger-woods-frank-mccourt-sugar-shane-3.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com