February 23, 2011

Single women, it's your own damn fault

Yesterday I was disappointed by Jessica Ravitz of CNN, as she defended herself for being a 41 year old unmarried woman (Sorry Jessica, that’ll be the last time I print your age).  Today I will take a look at the original article that got Jessica so riled up.

According to Tracy McMillan of The Huffington Post, if you’re an unmarried woman of a certain age, it’s because you are a bitch, a slut, a liar, shallow, selfish, or not good enough… basically it’s your own damn fault.

Let me just say first, I love it when women argue with each other.  Mainly because it keeps them busy so they don’t have time to argue with me.  And with that, here’s my take on McMillan’s post:


My first reaction is that this article is about how to GET married and not how to BE happily married… which makes it utterly irrelevant to me.  Any moron can get married… trust me, I’m a moron.

But if for some reason you are a woman who just can’t find anyone to marry you, it’s probably because you’re too picky.  So yeah, I guess I agree with the basic premise of the article… that it’s your own damn fault.

That said, McMillan does annoyingly repeat some typical memes about the archetypal male that I can’t resist responding to:
most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them
Well, yes, that is a key prerequisite, but by no means is it sufficient.

Female anger terrifies men… working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.
A standard mischaracterization/oversimplification of the male psyche, by someone who has never experienced it, a woman…  sigh… Anyway, I’ll just say this: don’t flatter yourself ladies, you're not that intimidating.  Or, if your man is really like this, you can do better.

And I'm not sure where she got this definition:
Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.
Character is doing what you believe it right, despite it being difficult.

And finally, in the interest of fairness, I'll point out something I liked:
…ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent penis -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy…
Well said.  The part about the princess fantasy I mean.  The other stuff was borderline condescending, but I’ll let it slide because she pointed out the princess fantasy.