This week in...

...sex

• Is casual sex worth it? Yes, yes it is. Any other questions?
• If you’re going on a date sometime soon, think about incorporating some of these libido boosters. Hint: wear red, hold her hand, and get her adrenaline pumping.

...alimony

• It’s gonna happen! The end, er, restriction of lifetime alimony in MA. Catch the fever!
• Just when it looked like Arnie was going to stand up against alimony, he pussed out.

From the comments, two perspectives on alimony

First from Niki W in response to The argument for alimony:

Ultimately whether or not a parent who has ended his career in order to look after a child has given up something probably depends entirely on the person. Parenting can often be a tiring, thankless job, and not all parents decide to bear the responsibility equally. Our society is still antiquated enough that more women will stay at home to look after their children than men, and there IS a reason why sole custody is usually granted to the mother when joint custody can't be agreed on. Maybe when society has evolved such that there are an equal number of women in high-powered, successful positions as there are men, alimony can be totally abandoned, but are you really considering that it can be extremely necessary as well?

This is a typical strategy used to argume for alimony: Complaining about a bunch of stuff that she doesn’t like, without making any attempt to connect it to a point. I guess I shouldn’t have expected much grasp of logical concepts from someone who calls herself Niki.

But let’s take these “points” one at a time.

This week in...

...child support

• Who knew failing to pay child support could get you shot in the back by a police officer as you try to run away.
• I said it before, and I’ll say it again. See this film if you have the opportunity.
• A man pays child support for 16 years for a child that isn’t his.
  

...women

• For some reason, women just like to worry... and complain.
• We watch female sports if and when the athletes are hot, not for any other reason.

...dating, mating, and baboons

• It turns out, it’s pretty good to be No. 2.

Tiger Woods, Frank McCourt, Sugar Shane: 3 more victims of alimony

Tiger Woods may be running out of money, due primarily to the outrageous alimony he’s paying to his ex-wife. In the mean time she’s living it up on Tiger’s dime with her new boyfriend, who just happens to be filthy rich as well. Surprise, surprise! I wonder if the two lovebirds will tie the not. Of course not, that would mean she'd no longer be able to legally rip off Tiger.

The argument for alimony

Here’s a typical argument for alimony from – surprise, surprise – a divorce financial strategy consultant:

If a woman has been in a long-term marriage, and she has either been out of the work force for decades or has an income that is substantially less than her husband’s, I believe she needs – and deserves – alimony in order to maintain a post-divorce lifestyle that’s at least somewhat comparable to the lifestyle she enjoyed during the marriage.

That’s it. As far as I can tell, in the thousand-word article, that’s the only argument he gives. It’s pretty much follows the standard argument that I hear from alimony supporters. In fact, I’ve never heard any other argument, so let’s break it down...

I hate it when I'm right

Add this to the case against alimony:

My parents divorced 20 years ago. The court approved a mutual agreement that Dad would pay monthly alimony until Mom remarried or one of them died. He has never missed a payment. I have recently discovered that Mom secretly married her live-in boyfriend 11 years ago, but has continued receiving the alimony without telling my father.

Sigh.

Weekend reading

1. The New Yorker explores the history of online dating. Personally, I'm more interested in the future.
2. In case you didn't know, coupons are tacky on a date. Women think it's romantic when you throw money away.
3. Definitely read this very thorough discussion of the many problems with child support calculations. Then read my analysis again.
4. The majority of Canadians now support legalized prostitution. Oh sure.
5. Hopefully you'll never need any of the five legal documents that can protect you in a relationship.
6. Most New Zealanders favor child support overhaul.
7. Good for Malaysia Airlines, banning babies First Class.
8. It turns out the success of female politicians might have a lot to do with nepotism.
9. Here are some good tips on how to be a better liar.

It's time to get rid of alimony

Most reasonable people agree than current alimony laws need an overhaul. Grassroots efforts to limit the duration of alimony are currently going on in several states. Elsewhere, there are efforts to standardize alimony awards to remove the element of a judge's opinion.

Even modern women believe it’s time to end this archaic system. A Boston Herald Op Ed by Jennifer Braceras is the latest to point out the fact that alimony is a vestige of a bygone era.

But why stop at limiting or simplifying alimony? Why not end it all together? The same logic that supports limiting alimony also leads to the natural conclusion that alimony itself makes no sense in 21st century America. In fact, it's counterproductive, for two primary reasons:

Five more reasons (links)

1. A woman adds some needed perspective on the case of the man who set himself on fire over child support.
2. It looks like I’m not the only one with the balls to defend men against the British PM’s attack.
3. Planned Parenthood is hurting financially due to the push by conservatives to defund the institution.
4. It turns out loyalty is a good thing. I couldn’t agree more. But why, exactly, do you need to be married to be loyal?
5. Where did gender inequality come from in the first place? Whatever it was, we know it didn't happen during the past 30 years.

The fight against alimony continues

A Florida man is joining the fight to end permanent alimony. Apparently he’s bought a billboard to get the word out. You can join him here.

And some progress is being made in West Virginia as well. It seems some people believe that you shouldn't have to pay alimony to a woman who cheats on you. Imagine that.

In other news, it looks like the efforts of our friend in MA are not going to waste.

Great news on all accounts. But again, I ask: How about ending ALL alimony?

A breath of fresh air: alimony limits proposed in MA

Massachusetts has introduced legislation to limit the duration of alimony payments, ending lifetime alimony. The bill would also close a loophole by ending alimony when the ex cohabitates with someone new for 3 months or more. Typically alimony ends only when the recipient remarries, so the moneygrubber spousal support recipient doesn’t remarry, even after she's found a new sucker significant other to support her. Here are the duration limits proposed by the bill:

• For marriages lasting longer than 20 years, alimony would end at age 66, the federal retirement age for Social Security
• For marriages of 5 years or less, alimony would not last any longer than half of the total months of the marriage
• For marriages of less than 10 years, no more than 60 percent of the duration of the marriage
• For marriages of less than 15 years, no more than 70 percent of the duration of the marriage
• For less than 20 years, no more than 80 percent of the duration of the marriage

And here is a profile of the man behind the revolution. This is not nearly enough, but it’s a start. We can only hope more states make similar moves. And of course, this begs the question: why do we need alimony at all?

5 more reasons (Links)

1. Even if you’re bankrupt, you still have to pay alimony and child support.
2. News flash! Promiscuous women more likely to divorce! Study on promiscuous men to follow.
3. Divorce is painful enough without the courts getting involved.
4. In Canada and Australia, those in the know believe laws prohibiting prostitution actually make it more dangerous.
5. If you’re a Singaporean woman, I recommend not wearing makeup to the divorce proceedings.

Marriage getting cheaper?

Leave it to the free market to work around problems created by over-regulation. Now you can offset some of the financial risk that comes with marriage by buying divorce insurance.

“WedLock” is a new type of casualty insurance that gives the unhappily married a payout after he or she is divorced.

It’s seems the founder came up with the idea after being burned by divorce himself:

[He] conceived the idea for Wedlock following his divorce 10 years ago. “My finances went to hell in a handbag,” he said. “I thought I can't be the only schmuck this is happening to. That was my ‘aha' moment.”

If you ask me, this is a welcome innovation that addresses one of the key issues I have with marriage. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like it’s going to be a solution. Without prohibativley expenisve premiums, your payout probably isn’t going to put a significant dent in what you might be on the hook for in terms of alimony and/or child support:

Jim Nantz Settles Divorce

Well, it’s been almost a year and a half since Jim Nantz decided to divorce his wife, but it looks like the two have reached a settlement.

Here is what being married to a famous sportscaster for 26 years will get you these days:

Another one bites the dust

Congratulations to Jim Nantz on deciding to end his marriage to his spendthrift wife, apparently in favor of his 29 year old girlfriend.

It seems that the missus was costing Nantz a little more than she was worth.  He attributed the failure of their relationship to his wife’s propensity to waste his hard earned money: