June 30, 2011

Five more reasons (links)

  1. A woman adds some needed perspective on the case of the man who set himself on fire over child support.
  2. It looks like I’m not the only one with the balls to defend men against the British PM’s attack.
  3. Planned Parenthood is hurting financially due to the push by conservatives to defund the institution.
  4. It turns out loyalty is a good thing. I couldn’t agree more. But why, exactly, do you need to be married to be loyal?
  5. Where did gender inequality come from in the first place? Whatever it was, we know it didn't happen during the past 30 years.

The fight against alimony continues

A Florida man is joining the fight to end permanent alimony. Apparently he’s bought a billboard to get the word out. You can join him here.

And some progress is being made in West Virginia as well. It seems some people believe that you shouldn't have to pay alimony to a woman who cheats on you. Imagine that.

In other news, it looks like the efforts of our friend in MA are not going to waste.

Great news on all accounts. But again, I ask: How about ending ALL alimony?

June 29, 2011

Three reasons online dating is never dull

  1. Online dating is great, unless your date turns out to be a terrorist.
  2. Want syphilis? Try this satirical dating site designed to increase STD awareness. Oh those crazy Canadians.
  3. More statistical insight from online dating site Tasebuds, which lets you connect with singles who share your musical tastes. Apparently Coldplay fans don’t put out. But we didn't need sophisticated statistical research to tell us that, did we?

Women, you do it to yourself

This from a new book, Unnatural Selection: Choosing Boys Over Girls, and the Consequences of a World Full of Men as excerpted in a review:
Women have become, in a sense, their own worst enemies. Development, remember, was supposed to improve the lot of women -- and in many areas it does. But when it comes to reproduction, the opposite happens: women use their increased autonomy to select for sons.
So true, this idea that women are their own worst enemies.

June 28, 2011

Online dating sites, always innovating

You read about the new online dating site, What’s Your Price, where you can essentially buy a date. Well, the march of progress continues. Here are three more new online dating sites to consider:

Site: Clique
Summary: Here
Innovation: Leverages your existing social networks (Facebook, twitter, etc). Limits your potential dating connections to friends of friends, i.e., 2-degrees of separation.
Availability: only in NYC
Cost: Free for now
My take: Sounds interesting. This is the way people usually meet organically. The problem with most new online dating innovations is that it takes time to broaden the user base past the critical mass that makes it work. This site gets past that by integrating your existing networks. Hopefully it’s discreet. That’s the biggest barrier to most online dating sites integrating with Facebook. No one wants a Facebook update that says, “I just joined an online dating site.”

Site: Date My School
Summary: Here
Innovation: Exclusively for college students
Availability: A select number of schools and expanding
Cost: ??
My take: Again, this is how a lot of people meet -- in class/at school -- so why not take it online. At least you know the people there (a) are in a similar age group, (b) live very close by, and (c) are not total losers (at least they’re pursuing a college degree). But to me, it seems too narrow a focus. What do I do after I’ve looked through the 20 or so people at my school who meet my criteria for major, interests, etc and haven’t found anyone I want to date?

Site: Sugar Daddy for Me
Summary: The name says it all
My take: This site faces the same issues as What’s Your Price. In fact, this site might be in a less secure legal position. A California D.A. is currently hot on its trail. Let me help to answer the question of whether or not this is prostitution. Yes, it is. But so is marriage… almost all dates… and most romantic interactions between men and women.

June 27, 2011

Marriage: easy in, not so easy out

You can now get a marriage certificate from a vending machine for a buck. Don’t worry, it’s not official. On the other hand, I'm sure a good lawyer could get your lady a sweet alimony deal based on one of these novelty certificates, especially here in California.

Let’s hope something like this becomes available for prenups.

Logic, the female version

A woman refutes this statement:
[Women] have children that they have to take time off to go home and take leave of. Therefore, it's their productivity. It's not their fault.
With this one:
[Women] tend to take more sick days than men because they have to care for sick children.
Don’t join the debate team Ma’am.

June 25, 2011

Unbelievable child support abuse of the day

A Houston man is required by law to pay child support for a child that’s not his. Watch the video here.

Even with the recent passage of a new law designed to prevent this sort of bullshit, he’s still on the hook. Apparently he’s grandfathered (or just fathered) in.

June 23, 2011

Online dating trifecta: beautiful people, iPhone hookers, Zoosk statistics

  1. Beautiful People an online dating site that only allows, you guessed it, beautiful people, had to lay down the law on 30,000 “uglies.” Good for them.
  2. Apparently iWhores may be in our future. Ah, the march of progress.
  3. New research from Zoosk on summer dating (I guess they were jealous of OkCupid). Here are the takeaways:
    • Don’t talk about your ex on a first date. (Duh)
    • The large majority of people expect men to pick up the bill for first date. (I guess you aren’t THAT independent, huh ladies?)
    • Most women have made up their mind about a potential romantic interest by the end of the first date. For most men it takes less than an hour, some only 15 minutes. (Me? 15 seconds.)
    • The majority of singles think an outdoor date is best for summer. (Not on the first date. See rule #2.)
    • Very few people think karaoke is a good idea on a first date. (Ya think?)
    • Most men, but less than half of women would go on date that requires a bathing suit. (My advice: not on the first date. Again, see rule #2. But it can be a good way to find out what you want to know. If she won’t show you her body, you probably don’t want to see it.)

June 22, 2011

Supreme Court news: child support, workplace discrimination

Child support

Hearing the case of a man who was jailed for not paying child support, the Supreme Court ruled that “states must have procedural safeguards in place to help determine whether the parent is able to comply with the support order” but that they are not entitled to a state-provided lawyer.

Workplace discrimination

Justice Scalia can be kind of a dick, but I’ve got to give him credit for throwing water on the Wal-Mart workplace discrimination lawsuit. Here’s Scalia, writing in the majority opinion:
On the facts of the case, significant proof that Wal-Mart operated under a general policy of discrimination. That is entirely absent here… In a company of Wal-Mart's size and geographical scope, it is quite unbelievable that all managers would exercise their discretion in a common way without some common direction.
Well said Your Honor.

June 21, 2011

Unwilling fathers: deadbeats or victims?

The British Prime Minister thinks it’s the former. In a Father’s Day piece in the British newspaper The Telegraph, the PM wrote this:
It's high time runaway dads were stigmatised and the full force of shame was heaped upon them. They should be looked at like drink-drivers, people who are beyond the pale. They need the message rammed home to them, from every part of our culture, that what they're doing is wrong; that leaving single mothers, who do a heroic job against all odds, to fend for themselves simply isn't acceptable.
Demonizing men who are unwilling to be fathers against their will is not new, but this is a little over the top. It sounds like these men would be beaten in the streets if the PM had his way. The idea that all single mothers are heroes and the fathers deadbeats is ridiculous.

Does the PM know the circumstances surrounding each of the men he wants to stigmatize? Many men are made fathers against their will. Here’s an example:

Four more reasons (links)

  1. If you’re a man who wants to feel what it’s like to be pregnant (no thanks), you can try this contraption.
  2. More resentment of men for, well, being men.
  3. I wonder how many men these days wish they could sell their wives.
  4. Congrats to Master P’s lawyers. Why do I have the feeling this victory will be short lived?

A breath of fresh air: alimony limits proposed in MA

Massachusetts has introduced legislation to limit the duration of alimony payments, ending lifetime alimony. The bill would also close a loophole by ending alimony when the ex cohabitates with someone new for 3 months or more. Typically alimony ends only when the recipient remarries, so the moneygrubber spousal support recipient doesn’t remarry, even after she's found a new sucker significant other to support her. Here are the duration limits proposed by the bill:
  • For marriages lasting longer than 20 years, alimony would end at age 66, the federal retirement age for Social Security
  • For marriages of 5 years or less, alimony would not last any longer than half of the total months of the marriage
  • For marriages of less than 10 years, no more than 60 percent of the duration of the marriage
  • For marriages of less than 15 years, no more than 70 percent of the duration of the marriage
  • For less than 20 years, no more than 80 percent of the duration of the marriage
And here is a profile of the man behind the revolution. This is not nearly enough, but it’s a start. We can only hope more states make similar moves. And of course, this begs the question: why do we need alimony at all?

June 20, 2011

Female ejaculation and ancient sex wisdom

They say you learn something new every day. Today I learned a little about the mysteries of female ejaculation and, tangentially, some ancient sex advice… always interesting. According to the Bering in Mind blog from Scientific American, science still doesn’t understand female ejaculation, but that doesn’t stop it from leading to hilarious situations like this:
…most female ejaculators report "copious" amounts of fluid being released around the time of orgasm, enough to "soak the bed" or "spray the wall" or have their partner scream in terror and misunderstanding
Anything that causes screaming in terror during sex is pretty funny in my book. But if you ask me, this particular situation is nothing to get scared about.

While tracing the history of sexual knowledge of the female body, the article also provided this ancient wisdom:
The 4th century Taoist text, Secret Instructions Concerning the Jade Chamber, written for the enterprising man in the art of satisfying a woman in bed, suggested that he decipher the following "five signs" of feminine arousal accordingly:
  1. "reddened face" = "she wants to make love with you"
  2. "breasts hard and nose perspiring" = "she wants you to insert your penis"
  3. "throat dry and saliva blocked" = "she is very stimulated and excited"
  4. "slippery vagina" = "she wants to have her orgasm soon"
  5. "the genitals transmit fluid" = "she has already been satisfied"
All great advice. So naturally, it got me wondering, where can I find this sacred text? A Google search led me to this from an Eastern massage website:

Reason #849: Jamie McCourt strikes gold

If you live in LA, are a Dodgers fan, or even follow Major League Baseball, you’ve probably heard about the McCourt divorce. Frank McCourt, the owner of the Dodgers, and his wife Jamie filed for divorce nearly two years ago after being married since 1979. And then, the bitter divorce battle ensued. Here’s a recap:
He says:
  • His wife Jamie had an affair with her Dodgers bodyguard and driver, Jeff Fuller
  • Jamie was fired by the Dodgers for "insubordination, non-responsiveness, failure to follow procedures, and inappropriate behavior with regard to a direct subordinate"
  • Jamie and boyfriend Fuller spent more than two weeks on a summer vacation in France and billed the team for it
  • He's low on cash and can't provide the hundreds of thousands of dollars Jamie wants in monthly compensation
  • He's the sole owner of the Dodgers
She says:
  • She's the equal co-owner of the Dodgers
  • She was "unceremoniously" fired by Frank so he could steal her share of the team
  • Frank is understating his net worth by hundreds of millions of dollars to avoid paying her
  • She needs as much as $989,000 a month to maintain her lifestyle, assuming she's not reinstated as CEO (That's nearly $12 million a year).
  • Her monthly living expenses include the upkeep on the McCourt houses (including a $34 million mansion in the Holmby Hills), salaries for a household staff of eight, tuition and living expenses for the couple's four sons, private jet travel, accommodations at five-star hotels, security escorts when traveling, as well as house calls from her hair stylist and make-up artist, according to the Wall Street Journal.
You might ask why any of this matters.

June 18, 2011

What's Your Price: Prostitution or a good deal?

How much do I usually spend on a first date with a woman I’ve met online? And how often is it a total waste when she turns out to be either unattractive or uninterested? These are the questions I was asking myself after hearing about a new online dating site called What’s Your Price. It’s a new model where the suitors bid on what they'll pay to go on a date with the object of their affection.

My first thought: Is this a site for prostitutes or golddiggers... or both? But then I started thinking, maybe it’s not such a bad idea when you consider all the money I’ve wasted on bad dates. The average price of a What's Your Price date in my area (Los Angeles) is about $170 (not including the cost of the actual date), and the available women seem to be attractive, and let’s just say, “looking for a good time.”

It shouldn’t be to difficult to run a few numbers. But first, another question: How is this even legal? Isn’t this prostitution?

June 17, 2011

4 more reasons (links)

  1. Apple’s working on a proprietary iPhone dating app.
  2. Apparently there’s also such a thing as a deadbeat Mom.
  3. If you’re going to be in Seattle on June 25, show up for the public forum on child support laws.
  4. Scientific American has an in depth report on the science of modern fatherhood. Lot's of good stuff. I'll have more in a separate post.

June 16, 2011

10 rules for chaste wanton dating

More dating rules to ponder, this time from a strictly Catholic point of view. I like these a lot! But sadly, not being Catholic myself, I had to modify them slightly. My updates are in italics:

10 Rules for Chaste Wanton Dating

  1. The purpose of dating is to find the person you wish to marry get laid, the one who will become the father or mother of your while minimizing the risk of having children. Keep that always in mind and terminate the relationship if and as soon as you realize this is not the person you’re not getting any.
  2. Never allow yourself The ultimate goal is to be alone in a closed room or parked car with your date.
  3. Always plan to be sexually active on a date. Have activities lined up (backup plans too) so you don’t find yourself in a position or situation of idleness. Bring a condom.
  4. Dress appropriately for the occasion but always modestly. Wear clean underwear.
  5. Regardless of who “pays” for the date no one “owes” anybody anything, other than sex.
  6. Any actions that cause sexual arousal (need I define them? aaaaw yeah) are to be avoided encouraged, including forms of dancing that are designed to cause it. Help each other to say no yes.
  7. A peck, a quick kiss (mouths closed), a brief hug or holding hands are permissible useless, since they are non-sexual expressions of affection.
  8. Don’t kid yourself. You are no different from anyone else. Don’t count on your self-control. You are weak! You just can’t go “so far.” Just give in to the moment and go for it!
  9. Your soul is at stake and perhaps a happy shotgun marriage and a or possible vocation child support. So be sure to use a condom.
  10. The road to chastity sexual fulfillment is paved with prayer fatties, the Eucharist prudes, and reading of the New Testament wasting money on bad dates. If you fail, have recourse to the Sacrament of Penance look at some porn as soon as possible and begin again.

5 more reasons (Links)

  1. Even if you’re bankrupt, you still have to pay alimony and child support.
  2. News flash! Promiscuous women more likely to divorce! Study on promiscuous men to follow.
  3. Divorce is painful enough without the courts getting involved.
  4. In Canada and Australia, those in the know believe laws prohibiting prostitution actually make it more dangerous.
  5. If you’re a Singaporean woman, I recommend not wearing makeup to the divorce proceedings.

June 15, 2011

The cost of raising a child vs child support

You may have heard, it costs a lot to raise a child. A recently released report by the USDA estimates that it will cost an average of $287K to raise a child born in 2010. But as others have pointed out, the study comes up short by two measures.

First, it’s based on out of pocket expenditures, so it doesn’t include opportunity costs such as career deferral, etc. Second, it’s based on what people actually spend, not what they need to spend on raising a child.

I’d say lost income trumps the fact that some people may overindulge their children, so if anything the study's results are probably an underestimation. But let’s assume for a moment that it’s any accurate accounting of the current cost of child rearing in America. Exactly how much does it cost to raise a child these days? And what does it tell us about something else we care about... child support?

Breaking all the rules of dating

Amy Loudon of The Independent thinks you should make your own dating rules. I did. Anyway, Amy's real point is that women shouldn't follow the common rules they make for themselves to sabotage their own dating lives. I agree. Most of these are unnecessary and/or counterproductive. Here's my take on each one.
  1. "Don’t kiss on a first date." Don’t follow this rule if you’re interested in a second date with me.
  2. "Don’t text [immediately] after a first day [to say what a great time you had]." Yes it does come off a bit too eager, but no I won’t hold it against you. Bottom line, it makes no difference. I’ve probably already made up my mind. And if I haven’t, whether or not you texted me afterwards isn’t going to sway me one way or the other. BUT, it will give me an opportunity to tell you how I feel, either by not responding, telling you directly I'm not interested, or telling you I'm interested. So if you're itching to know, this is probably a good way to get a quick answer.
  3. "Do not accept a Saturday night date after a Wednesday." Ladies, you are totally over-thinking this. Don’t outsmart yourselves.
  4. "Play hard to get." Agreed, this is counterproductive.
  5. "Picking up the bill." It’s refreshing when a woman wants to pay for anything. It means she can take care of herself, and she’s there because she actually likes you, not just because she had nothing better to do. All good things… Or it means she doesn’t want a second date and doesn’t want to send the wrong signals. Not such a good thing... So you can see why I’m not going to read too much into it, other than I just saved a few bucks, so I’m happy.

    But know this: We’re not going to ask. You have to take the initiative. The default is guy pays.

    I’ll tell you what’s NOT cool though. When a woman finagles her way into a more costly date than originally planned and then doesn't help pay for it. When I invite you out for drinks, I’m planning to buy you a few drinks, not dinner. So if you’re hungry and want to get dinner too, fine. But you shouldn't expect me to pay for it. I don’t like to be taken advantage of any more than you do.

June 14, 2011

Links

Don’t tax our lap dances!

Divorce, child custody battles not bad enough? What if you were attacked by three of your ex-wife’s family members?

More women telling each other, it’s your own damn fault.

See this film

Our family courts are heavily biased in favor of women, often assuming that all men are deadbeats or criminals. Not only does this problem rob fathers and children of cherished time together, it has wider consequences for society as a whole.
For tens of millions children, and their fathers, a national dialogue on the most pressing issue our society faces today can't come soon enough.
That’s from the press release for a new documentary film, Guilty Until Proven Innocent which explores child custody from the perspective of normal, stand up guys who've been shafted by our legal system.

Watch the trailer below. The film “shines as a beacon of hope for those parents and children caught up in the nightmare world of family court and child support agencies.”

Your online hijinks can and will be held against you

I’ve written about the crazy stuff that happens on Facebook] before. And we all know the stories of politicians done in by indiscreet e-behavior. But most of us aren't important enough to have anyone care about one or two misguided tweets... unless we’re married.

More and more, lawyers are combing the internet for evidence to use in divorce and child custody cases. That’s right, the stuff you post online might find its way into the body of evidence in family court.

In one child custody case, a woman’s lawyers used “a YouTube video of her former spouse partying on a 60-foot yacht in the Bahamas with multiple women” to persuade the judge that he was a bad parent.

In another example...
Chicago divorce attorney Dean Dussias had a client who was concerned his wife was cheating on him with someone over the Internet. After conducting searches and finding alias names in emails, Dussias discovered she was performing sexual acts and streaming the video on the Web for money.
Awesome. But if that doesn't make you cringe at the prospect of divorce proceedings, check out this even wilder story...

June 13, 2011

The smartest things I've read today

"Condemning is easy; fixing is hard." -- From an psychotherapists’ look at how Rep. Weiner might save his marriage.

And also from Psychology Today, "Everything said about Anthony Weiner is... bullshit."

From the Salon article I wrote about earlier.
[T]his latest political sex scandal had me seriously reconsidering whether monogamous marriage is realistic... All of this leads me to re-conclude that I won't be marrying a politician or a celebrity. That isn't to say that I won't also reconsider my definition of marital faithfulness -- and if I do, something tells me I'll have plenty of company.

"Men will not be committing [sex crimes] if they are sexually satisfied at home." -- The grand idea behind the founding of the Obedient Wives Club.

And more wisdom imported from Malaysia.
Men have only one desire, which is for women, while women have nine desires for a new handbag, new shoes and many more... Women today, however, feel that it is the men who should understand them and fulfill all their needs.

Marriage getting cheaper?

Leave it to the free market to work around problems created by over-regulation. Now you can offset some of the financial risk that comes with marriage by buying divorce insurance.
“WedLock” is a new type of casualty insurance that gives the unhappily married a payout after he or she is divorced.
It’s seems the founder came up with the idea after being burned by divorce himself:
[He] conceived the idea for Wedlock following his divorce 10 years ago. “My finances went to hell in a handbag,” he said. “I thought I can't be the only schmuck this is happening to. That was my ‘aha' moment.”
If you ask me, this is a welcome innovation that addresses one of the key issues I have with marriage. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like it’s going to be a solution. Without prohibativley expenisve premiums, your payout probably isn’t going to put a significant dent in what you might be on the hook for in terms of alimony and/or child support:

Infidelity, everyone's doing it

As I’ve pointed out before infidelity is not all that common. It's difficult to measure, since no one really wants to admit to it, but no matter how you slice it, lot's of people are doing it. But how many? What portion of spouses are unfaithful? 10%? 50%? 80%? Salon looks at the opinions of a few experts who study the matter:
The best educated guess, according to researchers at the University of Texas at Austin, is that an affair takes place within 40 to 76 percent of marriages: "A conservative interpretation of these figures suggests that although perhaps half of all married couples remain monogamous, the other half will experience an infidelity over the course of a marriage."
And here's another take:
As the anthropologist Helen Fisher explains, a meta-analysis of a dozen American infidelity studies found that "31% of men and 16% of women had had a sexual affair that entailed no emotional involvement; 13% of men and 21% of women had been romantically but not sexually involved with someone other than their spouse; and 20% of men and women had engaged in an affair that included both a sexual and emotional connection."
OK, so it depends on who you ask, and what you call infidelity. But suffice it to say, a lot of people are stepping out.

Satisfy your man, and he'll never stray

Other cultures just seem to do things better than we in America. For whatever reason, we tend to ignore, or refuse to except, the laws of nature. Not these women in Malasia.

The Obedient Wives Club is a place where members can go for counseling and discussion forums on the how's and why's of keeping their men sexually satisfied:
[V]ice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamed [a woman] said the secret to a happy family and subsequently the solution to all of society's ills is a happy man at home, which can be achieved if women served their husbands like “first-class prostitutes”.
And director Fauziah Ariffin (a woman) agrees:

Top 5 weekend links

Better pay your “child support” or the law will catch up to you.

Turns out, not only could you end up paying alimony and child support after a divorce, but you could also be on the hook for your spouse’s tax debts.

Another piece of evidence supporting my long held belief that people who like cats are crazy.

The Heritage Foundation thinks marriage is in trouble (agree), and we need to save it (disagree).

Don’t wear a skirt while riding a bike in NYC.

June 12, 2011

Bravo Alec Baldwin

The original Jack Ryan has a piece in The Huffington Post defending Rep. Weiner against everyone piling on top of his personal crisis. Here's Alec Baldwin, the realist:
[Wiener] needs something to take the edge off. For some people, regardless of occupation, that could mean booze, drugs, gambling, food or shopping. For high functioning men like Weiner and other officials who have lived through such scandals, who are constantly on the go, that leaves one tried and true source of a reliable high. The affirmation that comes when someone lets you know they want to sleep with you. Or even cyber-sleep with you.
The bottom line is this: people cheat because they can. And of course, because they want to. As Baldwin puts it:
Appointment sex with your spouse doesn't always arrive when you need it most. A modern cell phone, loaded with contacts of willing fellow players [is] ready for you at virtually any time.
People, and men in particular, have sexual needs. I remain skeptical that those needs can be met within the confines of a monogamous marriage. The Weiner affair (pun intended) is just one more piece in a rather large pile of evidence.

June 11, 2011

Prenups

If you must get married, please, please, get a prenup! I know, I know, when you meet the right person, and everything feels so right, and you’re in love, you don’t want to spoil it by… blah blah blah. Look, no one believes when they get married that they’ll end up divorced. But it happens. A lot. And when it does, it’s not going to be any fun.

Just ask Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently the dude is worth a lot of money, and for some reason, in our society, that means his soon-to-be ex-wife Maria Shriver (how about a new rule that if you don’t change your name, you don’t get half?) is going to be entitled to a bunch of it. How much? No one really knows. Oooh how exciting for her!

Now doesn't Arnie feel stupid? Maybe things were different years ago when he tied the knot.  But these days, for less than the price of a first date, you can be well on your way to a legally binding agreement. Or if you don't have a couple of twamps to spare, just download Bill Murray's prenup for free.

June 10, 2011

Links

I'm sure you've all heard enough about Weiner-gate by now.  What's that?  You haven't?  OK, well here's some more: an analysis of how the fact that his wife is pregnant changes the game.

And here's a reason I need to visit Switzerland.  Now that I think about it, maybe Weiner should have taken a diplomatic trip there.

Rich people have fewer kids

Justin Wolfers summarizes some pretty convincing data showing the correlation between income and children... that rich people have fewer kids.  But the question remains: What is the cause and what is the effect?  Do people have fewer kids once they get rich, or does having fewer kids make you rich?  Does some third variable, like being well educated, cause you to both become rich and have fewer kids?

More on workplace (in)equality

I wrote a few days ago about difference in median income growth between men and women over the last half-century.  Now the Atlantic has added some data, supporting the explanation that women have been becoming better educated and increasing their participation in highly skilled, higher paying jobs.  Over the same period, men's average education levels have stayed relatively constant, and they have continued to dominate low-skilled jobs requiring manual labor.  Makes sense to me.

June 9, 2011

Weiner bashing

Come on, can't we go a little easier on Rep. Weiner?  Does being bored in a sexless marriage make a man an arrogant cheater?  (And no, I'm not being presumptuous by saying the marriage is sexless.  It's well known that both travel frequently for their jobs.)  I mean after all, don't we all have a little weiner in us?  Sorry, I couldn't resist.

My top 6 online dating tips

Speaking of online dating I've been doing it for a while now, and have become somewhat of an expert.  I thought I’d share some of the stuff I've learned, for reference, and as always, for shits and giggles.  Here are some rules I've learned the hard way.  Sadly, these are all mistakes I've made personally, more than once.
  1. Height: she must be at least 3 inches shorter than you.  No exceptions.  It’s just not going to work otherwise.  Trust me, I've tried.  Even 3 inches is cutting it close.  Keep in mind she'll be wearing heels most of the time.
  2. First dates: Go out for a drink at night.  Read that again and memorize it.
    • And notice I also said at night.  No first dates during the day.  Lunch, coffee, brunch… No, no, no.  It’s just not very romantic, and a waste of time.  Not to mention the odds of alcohol being involved is much lower.  If you think going in for a first kiss is awkward, try doing it sober, in bright sunlight, standing in front of a crowded sidewalk cafĂ©.  Save it for later in the relationship.
    • Don’t travel unless you’re absolutely sure it’s worth it.  Let me explain.  When you meet someone online, it’s sometimes hard to tell exactly what you’re getting into.  Maybe there’s one or two pictures, from weird angles, not in the best light, and no pictures that show her below the neck.  There’s a definite chance you could be attracted to this person, but it's just as likely that you won't be.  You say, hey, it's worth a shot.  Sometimes it’s much clearer.  There are plenty of pictures and there's no question that this person is someone you want to meet.  What I’m saying is this: only travel a long distance (20 min drive or something) for the women in the latter category.  It’s all about risk-reward.  Oh, and never travel more than an hour or so for ANYONE.  Unless you live in the boonies or something, in which case, just go ahead and shoot yourself.

June 8, 2011

Father's rights?

A New Mexico man who believes that his ex-girlfriend aborted his child (she won’t say) has reportedly spent $1300 to take out a billboard to shame her.  It's got a picture of him (I think) holding something hard to make out as if it were a baby and reads:
This Would Have Been a Picture Of My 2-Month Old Baby If The Mother Had Decided To NOT KILL Our Child!
Apart from the pro-life wackery and the dramedy of this couple’s court battles, this story brings a few serious thoughts to mind:

Workplace (in)equality

Marginal Revolution has some striking data comparing the median male and female income, and how each has changed since the late 40’s.  It’s clear from the plots that the median woman, which as MR points out, is not actually a person, but a statistical construct, has done a lot better:

My reaction:


June 7, 2011

So many women, so little time

Modern dating technology is great.  Online dating, speed dating, social networking, etc.  There is no limit to the number of ways you can meet eligible coeds.  And it’s easy.  It doesn’t take much effort to strike up a virtual or actual conversation with a potential mate.

Unfortunately, I've found that this low barrier to entry, one of the biggest benefits to online dating, is also one of its biggest drawbacks.  Yes, it’s fairly easy to meet a smorgasbord of ladies these days, but once two potential lovers have a conversation going, it’s just as easy for one of you to decide that you never want to speak to each other again.  Easy come, easy go, as they say.

And since there are so many options, why not move on to the next one if something isn’t quite right?  Sander van Der Linden sums it up nicely in a new article from Scientific American’s Mind Matters:

June 6, 2011

Marriage sounds wonderful

Boy, I can’t wait until the day I find that special someone, finally decide to settle down, and enjoy a lifetime of this:
You've tried marriage therapy. You've tried date night. You've tried attitude adjustment, and tricking yourself into ignoring the discontent
...but nothing works.
You're in the group of "low-conflict," amiable but less than fulfilling marriages. Marriage researchers estimate that they contribute the lion's share to divorce court each year -- anywhere from 55% to 65%.
So consider yourself lucky.  You don’t have a horrible life, just a mind-numbingly boring one. But the silver lining is that more people are starting to realize how ridiculous marriage is:

High Comedy

The funniest comedy is always the truest, and the Onion has a satirical take on the ravaging effects of age on a woman’s beauty.  It’s seems some older women are just happy to get whatever attention they can: Catherine Zeta-Jones Happy To See People On Internet Would Still Hit That.  Enjoy!